Condoms Kill
by Fonger
Summary: A/N: Rated M just to be safe. Humor at the end. // Choking a bit on some blood, Kenny spoke up "Fucker.. I heard ya the first time.." he spat out more red saliva causing the great Eric Cartman to cringe "When I get back.. I'm gonna kick yer goddamn ass."


This ficcy contains some CANNY, STYLE, and some CLUTTERS on the side.

No Beta-read so it's bound to have typos and stupid mistakes. Sorry.

..but not really

FLAMES WILL BE USED TO MAKE SMORES!

--On with the fic--

"Kenneh! Get your ass over here!" shouted Eric Cartman, fists clenched, now at the fantastical age of 16 when High School reared it's ugly head at the teenage populace and told them to "sit the fuck down n' learn". Or was that Mr. Garrison? Either way, the still fairly large boy raised his voice a second time "KENNEH!" But the blond in question to which he was yelling for just grinned at a group of giggling girls who all -at seeing the deviousness- giggled further. "Fucking po' ass piece'a shit Kenny.." muttered Cartman, stalking to the opposite side of the road calling out for the school's well-known whore to "stop talking to those bitches and get over here".

A loud, long, and eery car horn sounded as Cartan made it half way across. A huge truck was not seven feet from him barreling forwards with no intention of stopping. Everyone near by heard this and turned but it was Kenny hismelf who'd reacted first; the orange wearing boy leaped forward with a bark-like shout of "WATCH OUT!" pushing the behemoth out of the way. This was suprising as no one could knock down Cartman, even Stan; the Quarterback.. but this shock was replaced with a 'THONK!'..

Kenny had gotten hit by the truck instead.

Eric stared at the spot where he'd previously been not sure what just went down. In any other circumstance he would have laughed his ass off but this time something in the pit of his stomach was stopping him. He didn't usually feel it there without good reason. Worry.

Getting up with startling speed, Cartman booked it to the spot where Kenny'd been hit which abruptly stopped the large truck with the name 'Trojan Condoms' on the side. He stared down at his "BFF" with horror instead of humor as the blond glared up at him. Choking a bit on some blood, Kenny spoke up "Fucker.. I heard ya the first time.." he spat out more red saliva causing The Great Eric Cartman to cringe "When I get back.. I'm gonna kick yer goddamn ass." threatened the constantly dying kid but his face was cracked into a smile "Fuckin' fatass.. bigger than the damn truck.." He let out a laugh before involuntarily letting his head tilt to one side where the happy expression fell slightly to make him look almost asleep. But he was farther gone that just asleep, Cartman knew that.

And somewhere, on the side of a High School football field, Stan and Kyle stopped momentarily with a make-out session. Well hidden behind the bleachers of course. "..I feel like I should say something.." muttered Stan, staring at his hands which had been placed on Kyle's shoulders "Me too.." The pair shrugged before continuing with the secret kissing.

--THE END--

It's so short! D: and it's my FIRST fanfic! I feel so ashamed. The first shit I write and it's unoriginal, inspired by my little cousin's Hot Wheels, and holds CANNY slash instead of BUNNY slash. I should be shot.

Oh, and I threw in that last bit because STYLE fans everywhere require some recognition.

I don't really think reviewing is needed; I just wrote this to feed my muse.

It's rare and stubborn, and only comes out at odd hours of the night.

((after the credits roll))

-BACKTOFOOTBALL-

Stan and Kyle: ((kiss))

Kenny Ghost: ((hovering just above Stan and Kyle, watching them make out)) This is fuckin' hawt. ((grins))

-OMGCHANGESCENE-

Butters: Ya'mean I-I didn't getta part? ((bites bottom lip))

Clyde: Don't feel bad, man. ((pats Butters' shoulder)) Maybe next time.

Butters: ((sniffs)) Th-Thanks, Clyde. ((small smile))

(A/N: I think I'm starting to like CLUTTERS)

-LOLCHANGEAGAIN-

Stan: ((stops kissing Kyle)) ..Do you ever feel like we're being watched?..

Kyle: Dude, shut up. ((grabs his varsity jacket and pulls him back into the kiss))


End file.
